Winter in Korea

Strike at the top because shit rolls downhill. Get ready for the world's longest post talking about what's gone on the last week. Monday - Got hit. Told the MT, she just ended up defending him and acted like it wasn't really a big deal. Tuesday - Holiday. Lamented my nonworking back but just downed painkillers and did fuck all. Wednesday - MT came in for all of about 2 minutes and talked to the kid who hit me. He said he didn't hit me, she believed him and left. I had to go to her after school and show her the bruise on my back, she still defended him and spoke for him. She tried to tell me not to go to the hospital and go to the school nurse instead. That night I couldn't lift my leg more than 2 or 3 inches off the ground, I knew I had to get help. Thursday - Woke up super early and went to the hospital as soon as it opened. No fracture, but had a spinal injury. Given 2 weeks bed rest and a ton of medication. Apparently I also have an ulcer. Didn't ha...

To make a long story short: I went to the hospital. I didn't have any fractures, but was told to come back for an MRI if the pain doesn't get better in 2 days and was given a note excusing me from work for bed rest for 2 weeks. It was diagnosed as a lumbar spinal injury and surprise? I apparently have a stomach ulcer as well. I've got many sachets of pills to take now, something for the ulcer, a muscle relaxer and an anti-inflammatory. I assume the relaxer because my back is genuinely as hard as my desk with how much my muscles seized. I went to school to give the paperwork over and request the time off, it sounded to me like they were just acting as if I was making a big deal over nothing. I was asked if I was going to work today, I said probably not. She said she would ask the principal. I ended up working. There's a lot more I can't talk about publicly until it's all done, but I did get higher ups involved so rest assured, I will either soon be removed ...

I was thinking of some bone or medical pun to open with but I can't find the energy to make one. I need to go to the hospital ASAP tomorrow morning. My pain spiked hard this afternoon and just got worse the longer the night goes on. Lying on my back, I can't lift my right leg off the floor more than three inches and that's with extreme, exhausting effort. I'm just really worried and kinda upset that it wasn't taken seriously again and I was dissuaded from going to the hospital. There's a lot more to say about it but I'm just going to sit on that until after I know I don't have some sort of spinal/nerve injury from this. Kitten updates to come later.

I was thinking about something this morning. I spent the weekend pulling myself out of this hole and made a good lesson plan for Monday, dressed up, did my hair and makeup and felt happy and accomplished. And then what happened with my student happened and I feel like life just threw me back down into that pit in such a coldly comical way. Like, "haha, you fool, where did you think you were going?" I had a thought to just give up again because clearly none of this mattered and why spend the energy dragging myself to the surface world just to be physically shoved back into the goblin caves from whence I came? I didn't entertain the thought for long. I woke up and my back had a definite bruise, but more than that, it tensed up my sciatic and my entire leg is in so much pain that I just want to lie in bed and not move at all. I made myself get up and change the kitten's bedding and clean. I even made yogurt using the machine I bought. I think I'm gonn...

An open letter to Korea and its labor workers. 5am is not an acceptable time to start construction work when you're less than 100 ft from an apartment building. 5am is also not an acceptable time to leave your amorphous blob of a truck running when it has a belt that screams louder than my kittens during weigh-in time. 5am is again, also not an acceptable time to weld metal in the middle of the street without any precaution for yourself, or others who may happen to look out their window and get an eyeful of blinding light, and the same can be said for the cutting of metal. I submit these demands to you and expect that you shall cease and desist these activities until at least 8am, like normal humans do, posthaste. Sincerely, the angry foreigner. Well anyway, I tried to roll over and go back to sleep and ended up waking up at 7:30. So hey, only slightly overslept. My day wasn't too bad. Lunch was good, the wind was blowing, air was clear, sun was out......

If there's anything I've learned about myself in all my years of living, it's that I give up easily when there's too many things to do at once. So I decided to tackle my "how 2 be a better adult" list slowly. Not so great at resetting my body clock since it wants to wake up at either 6am or 9am, there is no in between but I'll keep at it. I got the cleaning thing down to an art, everything is kitten proof and disinfected for the babies. They're 2 weeks old now and just getting the hang of the whole seeing thing, and they're starting to stand up now that they have more head control. Soon they'll be escaping from the box and getting into everything. Can't have them getting sick or hurt due to my rut. Studying, not yet. I don't want to overwhelm my brain with creating an entire schedule at once. I know, I know, but I'll get to it in another day or two. Wrote up my grocery list for healthy meal planning today and started takin...

Honesty and accountability. Two hard pills to swallow, but hey, someone's gotta take 'em. So if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna just dump some stuff here and let this mark my ownership of falling headlong into the world's deepest rut and my attempt to step out of it. I've been in my town for coming up on 3 months. And to be honest, I've given up. Not just on being a "great teacher" like I wanted to, but taking care of myself, my apartment, my studies.. I've just given up. It's stupid and I know that. Lately my health has gone to the dogs and I want to blame part of that on going cold turkey off the birth control I've been on for five years. I'm having migraines again, cluster headaches, ice pick headaches. My joints are sore and ache, I'm exhausted. I just want to lie down in my classroom and sleep all the time. My jaw is tense from grinding my teeth in my sleep because I'm stressed and I feel like garbage. Haven't bee...

"No." God, I am really starting to hate that word. When I was a kid, I never took no for an answer and very rarely gave it as one. Apparently my grandmother's favorite thing that I did when I was little was respond to "What part of 'no' don't you understand?" with a very serious "The 'o'." I wish my kids were like me, but they're the exact opposite. They say "no" more than "hello" at this point. I put together a really simple lesson plan that they surely wouldn't refuse. Let me give you a brief rundown of the day. Youtube video, coloring sheet, super simple worksheet. Easy. Fun. We just learned the days of the week, so the intro was asking them what day it was. I got one "Friday!" and about 10 silent kids, and two playing Granny on their phone. Alright. Ask them to put their phones away and start the video on our new topic as I introduce it. Months of the year! Great fun. Put that phone aw...

I really want to like it here. I really do. And I do to some extent. I really like Korea. I like a chunk of the kids at my school. I like the food. I like my town. I just don't like my school. Let me explain. I like the outside of the school and I like the area where visitors come in and that's what they see. It's absolutely beautiful, full of light and life and it smells nice to boot. But as you get deeper into the school, the areas where visitors don't venture to, it gets worse. It gets dirtier. It gets darker. It gets grimy. The toilets are black inside. The sinks are often clogged and scummy. The floor tiles are missing. There's graffiti. There's a visible line of grey on the walls from the kids. There's chunks of plaster and paint missing too. Cracks run from ceiling to floor. There's an inch of dust in some spots. The windows are hard to see through because of how dirty they are. Kids have cut the whiteboards I use. They've peeled the...